With just 24 post-vacation-sans-children hours under my belt, it’s now glaringly obvious that the honeymoon, as they say, is most definitely OVER.
- The people at your hotel hang on your every word. The people at home require you having to say things 14 times (and yell once more) before they respond.
- Instead of chocolates on your pillow there are leftover Halloween candy bar wrappers on your floor.
- You can’t go to the bathroom by yourself anymore (it sure was fun while it lasted though).
- The thought of going to a wine tasting at 4:00 now seems like a really bad idea.
- Instead of being greeted with “Hello, Mrs. Shumway, and welcome!” you’re greeted with “MOMMY I just pooped and it looks IZZACLY like a monkey head!”
- Instead of lazily rolling over and waking up naturally to the sun peeking through the hotel blinds, your alarm clock buzzes at 6:45 and you put a fist through it. BOO.
- You and your husband aren’t taking frequent strolls outside to “explore the neighborhood you’re staying in;” now you speed-walk in the cold for the sole purpose of getting Elvis to poop on the grass instead of the dining room rug.
- The most decadent thing on the menu is leftover macaroni and cheese (homemade, not out of a box) and the only poor schmoe clearing your dishes is you.
- IT SNOWS ON YOUR FIRST MORNING HOME (grrrrr).
- The sunset may not have palm trees in it, but you both get to share it with three little people that make up for all that.
A wonderful and much needed vacation, but happy to be home.